Wednesday, 13 May 2015

Why I Took A Break From Youtube: What I Learnt

Look who's here? ;)

Yes, I have peeped my head back out again for a heart-to-heart blogpost on the question everyone's been asking.

"Where have you been?"

For those who have been out of the loop too, I haven't been active on my Youtube channel for over a month. (Just came back: New vlog video of Australia and my meetup here)

Of course, during that time, many of you have been wondering why I haven't been uploading, and when my next video will be. I really appreciate and cherish every one of you who have missed me during this time and expressed your concerns for me. <333

To keep this succinct but genuine as always, the reason I took a break from Youtube was simply because I needed to just stop, reflect, clear my head and think.

I'm going to be very honest, and I might be so honest that it sounds proud or wrong, but just imagine I'm talking to you like a best friend who's talking about work. Yas? :)

Being a Youtuber is fun and stimulating. There are so many perks - you can be yourself, you pave your own way, and you just do whatever you want to do in whatever way you want. It's epic and I'm really grateful.

I personally love it and thrive in this arena, which is how I've been able to keep doing Youtube for over 4 years now. I thank you guys so much for making it possible for me to do what I love: sharing my life with you!

But as my channel has slowly grown over the years, and I am almost at 200,000 subscribers (omg!), there have been a tonne of things that just came with it. I'm sure you all know what I've been up to if you follow me on any of my SNS. (And this is not to brag at all.. it really is to just share the reason I needed to pull out for a while.) Live seminars at conferences & retreats, Universities, magazine features, show features, you get the drill. It's truly a complete honour to be doing these things, and even now I am seriously so humbled that little me can be featured in a magazine, but there's also something about being in this Korean beauty society that can be... how should I put it? Consuming.
Basically, if you're not on guard, it'll eat you up. 

Then I realised that after moving to Korea, I have been running full steam ahead without stopping. Almost the moment we landed I was offered my TV role, and I've been doing that together with full time Youtube (1-2 videos a week) and my personal life commitments with no real rest or time to pause. So, when Arirang TV's Korea Today show finished up in April, it was my opportunity to finally take a bit of a seat after a whole year, albeit with Youtube still going full time. (FYI I am also working on a show with Discovery Channel this month in Hong Kong so stay tuned! Nervous and excited..) Anyway, when I got back to Korea after my very busy holiday (what holiday? lol j/k) back to Australia, I honestly couldn't get myself back on the wheel straight away.

So what.. did I have a breakdown or something? No! Don't get me wrong.

I believe that if you have a dream or a big vision for something, you must commit some time to just do nothing but think, rest, plan and build your roots in preparation. I think this is wisdom. And I am so glad I decided to do this. 

A quote that's really spoken to me & oppa recently.
A lot of 'good's will come your way in life.
Learn to know when it's simply a 'good'
and don't be tempted to settle for it.


I gained quite a few things from this unique period of my life. 

- Perspective: I was reminded about what the important things in life are. It's almost unbelievable how quickly this common sense can disappear when working in the media. Taking myself briefly out of the - let's be honest - materialistic world that is of the Korean beauty gurus, I was able to get my head cleared of any 'fame or fortune' talk that just seems to spiral around you like a cloud whenever you step into the community. Staying grounded by my own values and reasoning behind why I ever even started Youtube, keeping myself in check and balance is crucial and can only come through constant refocus and reflection.

- Identity: Being totally around only friends and family - those people who knew me before I ever started Youtube and TV work - was refreshing. Who am I when there's nothing and no one around who is focused on who I am online? This is so totally important for anyone who's thinking of doing Youtube down the track with ambitions of making it big. 

- Purpose: I've always known my purpose for what I do. It's never been about fame or money or opportunity... it's really been to connect in a meaningful way with people through this medium in order to share good messages and make real connections with people from around the world. And if there is a way to get more people connected for their benefit in a moral and upright way, I will definitely work for it, even if it means I need to build credibility. It was a great time to filter and hone in on this, discerning right from wrong.

- Direction: With positions of influence come those you influence. You lead them to a certain direction, and the question is - what direction is that?  I feel like through these past weeks, my direction has been clarified even more. Even if you're one degree off, you will end up in the wrong place. I think direction is more important than anything else in our lives. Money and matters will come and go, but direction is ultimately where you're going to finish.

I'm pretty sure some of these things may have seemed a little vague to you, but I did the best I could to share why I 'ran away' from Youtube for a month, and what I've learnt during this time. In hopes that it might help some of you guys too, for your own lives. I love to learn from other people because it's a shortcut method to getting places without really having to go through it yourself. 

You don't have to have 4 weeks to do this :) That was just me. It was a time of healing and restoration that was very needed and I am coming back fresh with hope, love, joy and new inspirations. This would be beneficial not only to me, but to those who watch me. 

Likewise, if you spend some time to stop and reflect on your own life, I'm sure it will be beneficial to your life, your future and even those around you! I hope this encourages you guys!

I am nowhere near perfect so yes, I will still make mistakes, but I hope you guys know that I am determined to continue on this journey with all I've got. Cheering you on with your own endeavours too - I'm so honoured and blessed to have you guys to do life with. 

It's super late and I am meeting my BFF Grace tomorrow, haven't even taken off my makeup!! So without even reading through this I'm gonna go for it and just press publish. I will come back later just in case I need to fix anything. 

Thanks for reading to the end if you got here,

and finally,

thank you once again for all your continued love, support and friendship through all our thick and thin.

I love you guys!

Huge hugs, and good night,
Jen xox