Saturday, 24 December 2016

2016 - My Year of Wilderness

Hey musers!

Thank you for your warm welcome back to this platform.

My blog.

The place where I can truly just be me, and no one can touch me or what I do or what I say..
Where no one can interfere with my connection and friendship with you guys in the slightest bit.

I love it here. :)

I'm sorry that I haven't posted any product reviews or regular posts since my last one. Life took its unexpected toll and I got caught up in a wave of busy busy busy!
I still do have thoughts and plans to do so in the coming year though.. so don't completely give up on my blog yet guys hehehe.

Speaking of the coming year, today will be a short post to finish up my year.


What kind of year has 2016 been for you? 

For me, it's been a funny one..

2016 has been a year of... well..

nothing in particular. lol.

I can't quite pinpoint any key milestones or events or turning points.

This year has been full of my patience being tested, plans delayed,
behind-the-scenes work that has not yet seen the light.

Of many lonely days and nights, working, planning, hoping, persevering.

Although there are some 'accomplishments' for which I am humbled and beyond grateful for the opportunities - like hosting my very own TV show for the first time, or going to KCON - and memorable highlights like introducing Scarlett into our family,

it really has been rather slow and under the radar.

To me, 2016 felt like a wandering in the wilderness.

Sometimes it has been frustrating,

and many times it's been lonely.

Sometimes it's been sad and disheartening,

and sometimes simply exhausting.

But then it's also been enlightening,

and full of permission to have clearer vision.

Moments of absolute prostration because nothing is in my own hands, nothing belongs truly to me, I am just a steward.

And moments of pure grace.

Through it all, I know my roots have grown deeper.. just a little.

- A little deeper understanding of who I am, what I like and don't like, what I want to stand for (and what I clearly don't want to.. ever)

- A little better understanding of people and how the world really is.

Can I say then, perhaps, that this year has just made me older? lol

I no longer really feel satisfaction in jumping around with hype and hopping onto the latest trends, or getting aboard a train in order to feel I belong or could also get a boost from.

I personally felt a lot of dissatisfaction with the state of many things in this world.. from politics to Youtube. And not out of a complaining heart, but I guess.. out of realisation?

As you guys may know, I've always tried really hard to keep everything I share publicly as positive, since influence on other peoples' lives is not something I take lightly, but I'm simply being as truthful as I can about this year of my life. And now, instead of blatantly forcing positivity (which I may have been guilty of in the naivety that I've somewhat, and maybe sadly, but still gratefully, started to shed) I embrace truthfulness and honesty as a higher goal.

And somehow, I know you guys would appreciate that more too. :)

No one is perfect, and no one needs to be perfect, right? I feel like life is so much more meaningful when both the ups and downs are shared with precious ones around you.

Life is truly a marathon, not a race.

So what a strange, middle-of-the-road kind of year it has been.

Whatever it is, I'm grateful for it.

Life is full of seasons and I truly recognise that now.
There are Summers, Winters, Springs and Autumns.. and this year for me has perhaps been the dead of the silent Winter lol.

So I am grateful for this year of 2016, which on the surface looks fruitless and barren and bare..
but which I know and have faith that it was a time of God growing my roots deeper in Him.

Not even being able to put into words what I really have learnt this year, I apologise if this post has been vague and sketchy. It's because a lot of it is simply unexplainable.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. (Hebrews 11:1)

I know the future holds things that we cannot even imagine - for both me and for you. And it's this faith - the hope for things unseen - that keeps me joyful and amazed and trusting and persevering.

Whatever kind of year it has been for you, I hope that today will be a day where you can feel hope surge in your heart once again, for there's another season ahead. And because regardless of what's behind or ahead, today is a miraculous and wonderful gift to treasure and cherish and live.

If your joy has been stolen this year, may it be restored to you in His perfect time and will.

If your sense of self and identity has been destroyed through whatever set of events, may you feel the hope that God's grace is sufficient for you, for His power is made perfect in our weakness. And that our true identity doesn't lie in the world's hands anyway.

And if, like me, there has been delayed hopes and dreams, be happy with me that we have life to live in our young bones, that tomorrow brings new wind, that our strength continues and labour is not in vain..

and know,
in your heart of hearts,
that "though weeping may tarry for the night,
joy comes in the morning." (Psalm 30:5)

Merry Christmas my beloved musers,
and have a wonderful,
blessed new year.

To another amazing year with you guys!